February has come. Less than two weeks left until Valentine’s Day and maybe it’s the best time to think about love. Self-love. The commandment of love tells us: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Well, if we (women) were to treat others as we often treat ourselves, it would be a behavior full of frustration and even hate. So how can we take a step towards self-acceptance and go further to fully love ourselves at the end of this road?

Turn off the voice of your inner critic

He is with you every day. He wakes up and falls asleep when you do. He lives in your head and is doing great. As long as you let him. Yes, we’re talking about your inner critic. Do everything you can to take away his power. How do you know he is present in your life? He takes control of your thoughts. If you think that you are not good, pretty and hard-working enough, then certainly it’s his work. Control your judgments about yourself. You can be sure that they are not true. It often seems that in the eyes of others we are inferior, criticized and that the whole world has turned against us. However, the truth is that people think most of the time about… themselves. As soon as we understand it, we see that the world doesn’t revolve around us and that not everyone wants to ruin our day.

Use the right words

Words have power – we know this and yet we still do not pay a lot of attention to this. Sentences build our reality. As Henry Ford said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” It proves how important our attitude and approach to the world are. It’s we who create the reality that surrounds us. When we think and speak badly about ourselves, we involuntarily attract to ourselves what we don’t want. A negative approach lowers our motivation and weakens our self-esteem. Talking about yourself in a negative way expresses a lack of self-love. Therefore, the first step to change can be a change in thinking and speaking about yourself.

To find out how destructive negative thinking about yourself can be, I recommend to you truly powerful TED talk of Meaghan Ramsey:

Source: https://www.ted.com/talks/meaghan_ramsey_why_thinking_you_re_ugly_is_bad_for_you

Put yourself first

Without shame. With no regrets. No guilt. Just put yourself first – regardless of the circumstances. Allow your emotions to show up and react to them. Dare to say what you think. Decide about yourself – maybe for the first time in your life. If you don’t take care of your well-being, no one else will. If you don’t think about yourself first, you won’t be able to share what is most valuable with others. Your relationship with the world begins with you. Remember this and give yourself time and the right amount of attention.

Don’t compare yourself with others

Sometimes, we have no idea how to start changing our lives. A good start may be the decision that, from today, we stop harming ourselves. At our request, we waste precious life energy by constantly comparing ourselves with others. The contemporary world helps us a lot. The message flowing from various social media strengthens our belief that we are inferior, and that we still lack something to be truly happy. That’s not true, so stop doing it to yourself. Real-life does not happen on Instagram and it will never change. Take a break from your phone and computer and take the time to think about yourself – about what you want from life and what is important for you. 

Learning to love yourself is lifelong work. The good news is that it’s never too late to learn the first lesson: before you confess love to your loved ones, show it to yourself.